The Hidden Reason Why We Drink
Thud!" A loud noise from the kitchen woke me up.
"Not this again," I sighed. Sure enough, when I turned on the kitchen light, I found trash all over our wooden floor. In front of the mess was my 1-year-old cat, looking at me sheepishly.
Unveiling Human Behavior: The Pursuit of Pleasure and Avoidance of Pain
About a month ago, my cat suddenly developed a special interest in our under-the-sink trash can. Relentless, the little troublemaker would paw and paw and paw until a small opening let him crack open the cabinet door. There was nothing I could do to stop him.
It took me a whole week of headaches before I discovered that a can of emptied cat food had fallen behind the trash can and rolled to the back of the cabinet. The cat had been smelling the fish and thought he would find a feast if he got behind the trash bin!
Much like my cat's relentless search for the hard-to-reach fishy treat, we humans often exhibit behaviors driven by a deeper rationale that isn't immediately apparent. Many times, we only see the troubled behaviors. What we don’t realize is that behind each behavior, troubled or not, there is often a logical reason. My cat kept returning to the cabinet because he believed if he could get behind the trash bin, he would get a delicious treat. Drinkers keep returning to the bottle because they believe they can find what they desire at the bottom of the bottle.
The Dual Forces: Pleasure & Pain
At the core of why we do things, there are two simple reasons: we're either trying to feel good or avoid feeling bad. This idea explains everything from why we love chocolate to why some of us reach for a drink.
According to renowned psychologist Sigmund Freud, these two simple motivations are responsible for all of our daily decisions. We pick up the chocolate bar for the rush of joy when it melts in our mouths. We spit out the scalding coffee and remember to blow on it the next time before taking a sip. Instinctively, we repeat what gives us pleasure and flinch away from the pain.
The same principle is behind our choice of drinking alcohol. The allure of a drink often promises fleeting moments of pleasure: a buzz that lifts the weight off the shoulders, a sense of confidence in social situations, or an escape from mundane daily tasks. Our brains learn to associate the fleeting joy with the liquid in the bottle, and so we return, time and time again.
The Lure of Liquor: Pleasure in a Bottle
Just like my cat couldn't resist the idea of a hidden treat, many of us find it hard to resist what alcohol seems to promise. We associate beer with bonding, wine with relaxation, and rounds of shots with party and celebration. Alcohol, for many, represents more than just a drink. It becomes a symbol of desired states of being.
Our perceptions of alcohol don't form in a vacuum. They're cultivated over time through observations and external influences. Think about how often we see people in movies or on TV having a great time with a drink in their hand. These scenes stick with us, making us associate drinking with fun and friendship. They subtly reinforce our beliefs that alcohol equals good times and pleasure.
Dodging Discomfort: Alcohol as an Escape
But there's another side to this coin – the avoidance of pain. Beyond seeking pleasure, avoiding pain is perhaps an even more powerful force. My cat didn’t just try to get behind the cabinet door for a feast. What probably motivated him even more was his instinct to avoid hunger. Alcohol often serves as a mild anesthesia, providing temporary relief from life’s stings. Be it the numbing of a painful memory, dampening the anxiety of social interactions, or drowning the whispers of self-doubt, alcohol promises a short-lived escape.
Preemptive Coping: Alcohol as Protective Armor
Over time, we may start to drink not because we're already feeling bad, but because we're worried we might feel bad later. Like taking a drink before bed to avoid lying awake worrying.
Someone might dread the tossing and turning that comes with insomnia. They might think, “A couple of drinks will help me crash and avoid that frustration.” It's this anticipatory anxiety, the fear of potential discomfort, that leads individuals to reach for the bottle even before facing the situation. In doing so, alcohol becomes a pre-emptive armor against perceived threats of discomfort or judgment.
Uncovering the Hidden Desires Behind Every Sip
Much like unearthing the hidden cat food can was key to understanding my cat's behavior, uncovering the deeper motivations behind alcohol use is crucial. Many times, we only see the troubled behavior, like the cat who kept getting into the trash in the middle of the night. Or the drinkers who continue to drink despite doctors’ warnings, partners’ ultimatums, or loved ones’ pleas. We don’t realize that behind each pour, there is an earnest desire for joy or relief.
To resist the lure of alcohol, just using willpower is often not sufficient. Just like I had to find and get rid of the empty cat food can solve my cat's trash can raids. Inside the Sober Curious Society, we help you discover and deal with the real reasons behind your drinking, join us today to lock in the limited-time intro rate.
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